The weekend

They came to visit this weekend.
It was a lovely weekend, all in all.

It gets a little harder to dislike her as I get to know her; although it doesn't stop me thinking what I do.

I spent the few weeks getting all excited about him coming, sorting the house getting everything straight, I suppose I wanted to make a 'good' impression. (why I feel I have to make a good impression I'm not sure - He knows me, and I am mostly me when he's around.)

It was nice to have a social time together - we did have a genuinely nice time, and The more we talked the more I realised how alike we really are.

But he's gone now and I feel very blue.

It's not like it will be long before I see him again a couple of weeks I think - but after that it could be a fair few months; emails will ensue I'm sure, but well, it's not quite the same is it.

My obsession

I do think she does not appreciate him.
don't get me wrong.
I like her, but well - she makes him feel bad for doing what he enjoys, once she seemed to give him a hard time for having dinner with friends and not come home to her, another time she didn't reply to texts or any other electronic messages and when rung, she'd sounded upset and said she'd been essentially hiding from the world all day... she made him worry and rush home - See him little enough as it is, and that made it less.

I would appreciate him far more than she seems to...

Maybe I've not been so honest with myself.

To the untrained eye it looks like for the last couple of years my life has been fabulous. no need for the blog.
Well. Its untrue.
In the last 2 years I had a massive fallout with hisself. We made up. we still have rocky patches though and those are tough.

I think I'm still alittle obsessed too. I get it under control for a while and then *bang* it reappears.
its the little things - comments made jokes shared... but thats for another post.

its been a little while...

..Since I posted.

Some might think this is a good thing. Positive pherhaps.

I've had ups and downs.
Emotions are still confused - good days are great, bad days are, well. Lets just say bad days are not the happiest times.

I'm Obsessed

I didn't think I could be, would be or was.
But I think I am.
This is not healthy.

I need to do something about it...

Ever Wonder...

....if you are with the right person? Or if others are with the right person.
If you weren't with your's and they weren't with their's would you or could you be with them?
Is it infatuation or is it more?

Something to think about.

Work Sucks

I've been told that after November i essentially have no job.

Work Sucks.

People are impatient.

The expect me to move the world, and then 5 minutes later ask why it isn't done yet.
They seem to forget that there is a chain of events that have to happen,and sometimes people i need are not available. But that doesn't matter because they want it to happen now.

Today I have felt really low. Almost depressed.

Work seems to be the main issue, things have been going down hill since January; Department reorgs, staff changes, my boss leaving & leaving me with no job to speak of.

The thing is i really used to enjoy work; the viariaty, the people it was fun. I don't know why i've stopped enjoying it, it makes me feel worse.
I want to instantly change things, but this isn't going to happen anytime soon so for now i shall just keep going.

Getting up in the morning and dreading going to work is something i shall have to get used to for now.

this is my secret place.

This is my Anonymity

This place has no friends, no-one who knows me.

This is a place for me to let of steam, rant, say things that i need to but can't or won't to the people around me.

~my secret place~